| for the public eye |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|01:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
The other day I befriended a cabbage. It was a wonderful experience.
The artic is cold, but I don't know that for sure.
I think I'd like to bake a pie and then put batteries in it to see if it does anything.
On the other side of that bush there is a cold can of soda – please go grab that for me. |
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| Conditional Logic |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|05:56 pm] |
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If jupiter wasn't so gaseous I'd probably live there for a while. |
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| TheFork |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|05:53 pm] |
I took a walk around my neighborhood tonight. I took a sharp right after leaving my house and after about two minutes of walking I came to a fork in the road. There was literally a fork in the road. So, I stopped to take a good look at it. I had a decision to make. Should I pull the fork out, or just leave it there, sticking out of the road? By taking the fork out of the road I’d be preventing a future flat tire and I’d have a fork. On the other hand, the fork could be holding something vital in place – like the orbit of the planet. Removing the fork could potentially disrupt the delicate balance of our ecosystem. My grandpa use to always say, “Put a fork in it and see if it’s done”. Maybe the fork was trying to tell me something. Maybe this fork was a symbol, placed before me by some divine being. It’s trying to tell me that we’re done… we are thoroughly cooked and ready to be consumed. Perhaps that’s all we ever were, our planet was nothing but a farm. The population of the earth is staggering; we’re approaching its limits. This is the harvest season for some alien galactic farmer and we are the livestock. |
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| Not for all the pizza in Saskatchewan. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|09:31 pm] |
* Grab the geetar, strum a little, and let this diddy of a tune flow through your heart! *
You think there's nothing to this game;
three turns and a gallop is rather tame.
One dresses nice, sits up straight;
makes some circles and out the gate.
Well then you need to take a ride;
on a good horse, and not a snide.
Take a real good seat and very firm grip;
because you are in for quite a trip.
You'll reach the first running thirty five;
when he drops his butt and seems to dive
Well hey, you need to take a ride;
on a good horse, not a snide.
he changes directions in one heart beat;
and your happy he's still on his feet.
Oh! You're not finished, not even near,
that jerk you felt was him shifting gear.
Well hey, you need to take a ride;
on a good horse, not a snide.
Well hey, you need to take a ride;
on a good horse, not a snide. |
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| Funny Image #1 |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|09:27 pm] |
Here's a funny image...
there's a guy saying to a girl, "I want to have your baby."
the girl gets creeped out but laughs.
the guy grows angry, and shouts "I want to have your baby!"
the girl takes a deep breath and says, "Hey man, you can't have a baby. You're a man." |
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| The Art of Phonery |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|09:26 pm] |
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Making a phone that looks "real" is not hard if you already know how to make real phones. |
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| Spatula Update: Urgent |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|03:13 pm] |
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It turns out the giant spatula I found in my couch belongs to a Mr. E Godwin of Las Vegas, Nevada. Apparently he was robbed by a old prostitute who later sold the giant spatula to support her meth addiction. The meth dealers name was Randy. Randy the Hipster. They sometimes called him randy Randy, because he liked to bone. A lot. |
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| ... |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|02:55 pm] |
It smells like journal in here.
There's nothing like that new journal smell. |
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| Contracts and Silly Pills |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|12:18 am] |
then a wolf comes and attacks my hand, mangles it up good. then he comes back with a ball; which I throw. running for the ball the wolf takes a big funny leap. me and derek laugh. |
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| Tasteful and Useful |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|12:03 am] |
Look what I found in my couch.
It's a spatula of gigantic proportions. |
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